Re-Source Natural Spring Water 700mL Bottle ($1.29)
This review has already been compromised due to Re-Source’s need to spell their name using the earth in place of the letter ‘o’. Like the Ke$ha of water, only worse –there is no ‘earth’ key on the keyboard. My expectations for this water are already minimal as I suspect this to be a ploy so that the public is unable to search properly for Re-Source reviews. Luckily, the public is well aware that they can come to The Water Connoisseur to get their vital and accurate water information.
The bottle totes a 50% recycled plastic label which I would have guessed as it is discolored and feels flimsy to the touch. A true environmental brand would stick to glass. The bottle was also filled to the absolute brim. Quantity does not compensate for quality and in combination with the poor quality of the plastic, makes for a high chance of spillage. I do not consider myself overly masculine; although I did partake in my share of rowing at oxford, it was mostly to get closer to the water that had always fascinated me. Upon grabbing this open bottle, however, I immediately crushed its walls and the overfilled contents leaked onto my desk, keyboard, and gel pad.
Once again, perhaps the goal here is for all the water to spill, leaving the consumer parched and self-deprecated with no grounds comment on the quality of the water. Once tasting of course, everything becomes clear. The water tastes metallic and grainy as though I am sucking it through an industrial vacuum cleaner. After double checking the label I noticed this “brand” is actually owned by the Nestle Corporation! It seems easier to commit heinous acts when under the guise or moral superiority. Nestle sells this water as ‘Re-Source’ so that it could brand itself as ‘holier than thou,’ while sneaking by with hazardous packaging and heinous tasting water.
The Water Connoisseur gives this bottle 1 Crystal Goblet out of 5.
This water is not recommended for human consumption but alternate uses include elaborate water-weighing puzzles to challenge action movie heroes, boiling and pouring on icy driveways, and demonstrating centrifugal force while spinning in a cup.
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