Sonic Wave Purified Water 500mL Bottle ($1.49)
On a trip with a few friends, I stopped by Sonic Drive-In as I had never been there before. For those unfamiliar, it is a throwback to the drive in restaurants of the 60s where burgers and shakes are skated over to your car by the employees. In today’s modern times, the skaters are no longer buxom ladies however. Ideally, the position is open to all but it was mostly aggressive teenage boys in hockey skates.
I am all for equality but rigorous physical activity and hospitality do not go hand in hand in hormone filled teenage boys let alone anyone. These young men were too busy showing off their skating moves and insulting the McDonalds employees across the street for having to work “on foot” to properly tend to their own customers. I patiently waiter, however, and finally received my water.
Sonic Wave water is the mad men of waters. I am referring of course not to the show Mad Men, but to the “mad man” characters that the show is about. They are aesthetically pleasing as is this bottle design. The graphic design is a subtle throwback to the visuals of the time. The function of these men, however, was often compromised by their various vices and indiscretions and this water is no different.
The bottle is still plastic and a bluish tint at that, which I have often mentioned as being a tool to mask oddly hued water. After removing the cap I smelled a subtle aroma of squid ink along with a tinge of hair gel. I’d be surprised to find that Sonic even offers a squid ink item on their menu so I will assume the contaminant entered early in the bottling process. After taking a sip, the ink took a more backseat tone with the hair gel becoming much more prominent on the palate. The feeling is quite disturbing albeit somewhat preferable to what I imagine a deeper squid ink taste would bring but most likely less natural and less safe for my biology.
The Water Connoisseur gives this bottle 2 Crystal Goblets out of 5.
This water is not recommended for human consumption. Alternate recommended uses include testing water safety gear for flotation, cooling 60s era water-cooled muscle car engines, and for throwing back at the rollerblading server as an adaptation of the popular “fire in the hole” drive through prank game.
