The Water Connoisseur

The Water Connoisseur is an Oxford graduate with a double concentration in hydrology and fluid dynamics. I live, breathe, eat, and drink water. This blog is my review of various bottled and freshwater sources; I have a trained palate capable of recognizing the subtle nuances that each source of water encompasses and have decided to share my abilities with the world. You are welcome, and please enjoy.

Created by @HardcoreBoris

athlade Sport Water 360 591mL ($1.79)

I started going to the gym again recently and decided what better time than now to review a water geared for athletes. Although it is a foolish idea that water needs to be specially marketed toward various specific demographics, I need not negate such waters from the scrutiny of my expertise. The public has a right to know, and perhaps one such water will nonetheless be of the fine quality that deserves respect.

The idea here is that the water has electrolytes infused in it. While I am a purist, such an addition should ideally cause no change in taste and will therefore be classified as more of a “synthetic mineral water” rather than a “sports beverage.” The distinction should be clear to anyone with basic working knowledge of hydrology and fluid dynamics.

The scent is that of mold. While it is difficult to specify, after taking a sip the taste becomes much more manageable. There is a distinct hint of shower mildew with a subtle aftertaste of seaweed. Although seaweed is salty, and salt is in itself an electrolyte, there is no excuse for the taste to be affected as such.

Although I have many more nights on the vibrating belt machine and in the sauna to go before I could proudly call my self an athlete, I have a plethora of experience at this moment to call myself a water connoisseur and this brand is not one that deserves my mark of approval.

The Water Connoisseur gives this bottle 2 Crystal Goblets out of 5.

This water is not recommended for human consumption. Alternate recommended uses include boiling a frog to see if it will jump out to avoid its own death, soaking clothes in order to freeze and shatter them, and leaving alone to allow life to grow with time from trace (or not so trace) bacteria.

Tagged: athladesport2 Crystal Goblets360